"She'd have to be crazy not to like you."

Is this coincidental irony, or is my life just entirely too well written?

I miss you.

Friends.

Lately, I've been noticing that there are a lot of big groups of friends. You know who I'm talking about, the bunch of people who all seem to be best friends, who share all their inside jokes and love each other to death. Some of these people I know, some I don't. Most of them I don't.
Well anyway, here's why I brought them up.

I constantly find myself looking at these groups, and wishing I belonged to one.
It would bum me out all the time.
Well, I don't know why it's taken me this long to realize this, but I have.
I'm in one of those groups.
We are that group.
I mean, sure I don't get to see all of you near as often as I'd like, but still.

I don't know if everyone's like this, or just me. But I consider my friends of more relation than my actual family.
The people that you gravitate towards, are most often the people most like you.
You can't choose your family, but you can always choose your friends.

I can proudly and firmly say that I've chosen well.

This is my life.

My life is going by fast.
There's roughly 84% of it left for me,
and I want to use that time for all the good
that it can be traded for.
I want to play music, preferably for those who enjoy it.
I want to find a really nice, pretty, thoughtful and deep girl.
Maybe I've already met her, maybe I haven't.
My money's on the first.

I want to get married, I want to move away.
I want to experience love, and warmth.
I want to feel alone, and cold.
I want to live life.

Until next time,
your teenaged dude.

I don't think it really matters to you anymore.

There's a recurring thought I have, that gives me nightmares.
It's really damn upsetting.
It's that no matter how much I give you, how strong I can stand for you,
you don't care.
If I were to die tonight, I might never run through your mind again.
The worst part is, that this feeling isn't grounded in some paranoid teenage hormone imbalance.
It's that you've told me this is so.
I wish I could say I hate you, but I never could. I never will.
And the earth will just keep on spinning.