Just let it all go.

You probably didn't notice

but I knew you all along.

You probably didn't notice

but I loved you all along.

You probably didn't notice

how I knew when I was wrong.

Maybe you will notice

what I was now that I'm gone.

Remember when we were sophomores?

And everyone got along so well.
And we all talked to each other all the time, without really talking to each other at all.
And there were parties and music and people liked each other.

Remember?
God, how people liked each other.

I want it back.
But I swear to God, I really don’t.

XO

I don't know what I'm going to do after this year.
It's all wide open.
That really should scare me.
But I've got this terrible habit of procrastinating everything.
So I'll just let it sink back to the bottom of mind.

Look at me.

I wonder if there's anybody who thinks about me.
If there's anybody who reads something in an article, or hears a song or watches a movie, and finds it brings me up in the library of their thoughts. It happens to me all the time. I see people I know in everything around me, in what I hear and read, and I can pick them out like driftwood from a river.
But what is it that makes people so distinct? That makes people so original?
I find originality in almost everything of everyone I'm close to.
They all have a distinct outlook on life, a unique level of tolerance to what is thrown toward them.
Maybe I just haven't met enough of you, but I've never heard the same voice from two different people.
Each voice has it's own different sounds, and lengths of emphasis it stresses on vowels and words.
It's as beautiful to me as the eyes we all have. There are so many shades of colors, shapes and sizes that it's easy to let your mind lay a hazy blanket of monotone over them all. If it didn't, you'd go mad with information overload.
But what about that one person's eyes? That one special person, that when you steal a glimpse into the ocean of color and life that resides in such a minuscule space, you can't help but drop every thought you were thinking just one second before.
What is it that cuts through that blind of generality, and let's you really discover someone?

I want to lose myself in my other half's world.
If only I could ever find her.

First post in a long time.

It's 2011, and things feel different.
I don't know if it's actually having friends at school, or something else.
But it's different.
I'm different.

And while we're talking about differences, you're different.
Why do you do this to me?
When faced with staying the same or changing for the worse, why do you always choose the latter?
Or maybe you're not actually choosing to.
Maybe you're just going along with the crowd, and the crowd is changing.

Whatever.

I'm tired, I have a headache, and I'm lonely.