(no title)

late at night i stop here
and
i wonder what we were
i wonder who you have become
and what you've done with her
but
suppose that this is meant to be
this feeling i call "hell"
lying here
and missing you
and lying to my self

i do not know too much about too much
that much is true
but i know too much of what you've done
i know too much of you

infinite/finite

As cliche as it sounds, I think that we all have our infinite moments.
For some it may be taking the long way home because someone they love is in the passenger's seat. For others it may be looking up at the clock and realizing that it's "their" time. That it's 8:08 and they feel like it was meant to be, or maybe it's 7:17 and they spend the moment thinking of whatever person's that time is.
For you it may be finishing a book that you could never imagine having an ending, or when the perfect song plays in that perfect moment and you feel perfect despite your full knowledge of the fact that no moment is perfect and neither are you.
For me, it's 2:36 am on a week night. It's opening my best friend's window and climbing through. It's feeling content with myself even though I know I shouldn't.  It's a walking the block and a half from my house to Walgreens in the middle of the night just because I can. It's writing another one of these pointless entries in a pointless blog that fully reflects my own pointless life.
It's knowing that I have everything to lose.
It's feeling like I have nothing.
It's all of it.
All of it.